Private Valentine: Reviews, Part 2
Part 2 of the reviews guys. Read on and maybe you’ll change the way you think about Private Valentine:
Amazon.com: Private Valentine is a flimsy retread of Goldie Hawn’s classic 1980 comedy Private Benjamin. But despite its many, many flaws–most significantly, after humiliating her platoon repeatedly, Valentine wins them over far too easily–Private Valentine is so puppy-dog eager to please that it’s hard to dislike. Simpson cheerfully makes fun of herself and clearly wants to escape her sex-bomb image (the movie puts very little emphasis on her curves). Also featuring Steve Guttenberg, Cheri Oteri, and an actually funny (and all too brief) appearance by Michael Hitchcock (Best In Show, Waiting for Guffman). –Bret Fetzer
Reviewstream.com: I hate to admit it: “Major Movie Star” was just downright cute.
Simpson doesn’t show much talent, as usual; she pretty much plays herself, a dumb blonde movie star. But, since the main character IS a dumb blonde movie star, it works.
Simpson plays “America’s sweetheart” Megan Parker, whose world is crashing down around her. All her money has been embezzled, her boyfriend turns out to be gay (and sleeping with her manager) - she freaks out and goes on a disastrous joyride that ends in a crash. Stumbling around, dazed and confused (not an unusual state for her by any means), she randomly enlists herself in the army, and goes on to be the silliest recruit ever.
My husband was extremely irritated because there are several big errors in the military portrayal: for one thing, even female recruits are required to get a short haircut, and of course Simpson keeps her long golden curls. Also, the salutes are very sloppy and for some reason all the flags on the uniforms are backwards.
Still, cuteness wins out - Simpson’s character grows a backbone, toughens up, and the ending is warm, fuzzy, and feel-good. Not exactly a gem of film; but worth a watch.
– TJ Lord
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